Martial arts instructors condemn bully bashing

WINNIPEG -- Martial arts instructors are condemning a Winnipeg mother's decision to enrol her bullied son in kick-boxing classes and give him permission to retaliate against his tormentors.

The mother, who asked not to be named, gave her son the green light to "kick the snot out of " his alleged tormentor when school starts next month.

But that vision of what selfdefence actually entails has self-defence experts cringing.

"Martial arts is not about kicking and punching," said Sonny Pabuaya, instructor at Iron Fist Tae Kwon Do in Winnipeg. "That's a misconception people have because that's what they see in the movies."

"Violence only invokes more violence," said Diego Beltran, who runs Guardian Dojo-Kyokushin Karate Canada Inc. in Winnipeg. "I'm in total disagreement with the lady."

The mother said a bully has been tormenting her son for years. Both boys are in their early teens, and have attended the same school in Louis Riel School Division.

"It's about time he took a stand and stood up for himself," she said in a recent interview with the Free Press. "He has my full permission to kick the snot out of [the other boy] if he comes up to him."

Mr. Beltran and Mr. Pabuaya both stressed that selfdefence preaches mental discipline before physical training. Both emphasize verbal interaction to avoid heated confrontations.

"I teach my kids respect, discipline and courtesy and work on those three," Mr. Beltran said. "Kicking and punching your way out is not necessarily the way to go. Foundations on respect of discipline and courtesy will teach you that."

Mr. Pabuaya said he teaches his students through a variety of scenarios.

"I always teach, first of all, how to talk their way out of it," he said. "They learn to have confidence in themselves because most of the time bullies start to bully kids who have a lack of confidence."

A criminologist who specializes in bullying said the confidence the boy might draw from his martial arts training might help him--but not if it draws him into a cycle of retribution.

"If it builds his self-esteem, it can be a good thing," said Brenda Morrison, professor of criminology at Simon Fraser University in British Columbia. "[But] it's better to walk away. Aggression usually breeds further violence. You can't get to a good place in a bad way."

She said she feels a lot of sympathy for the boy's mother, who likely hasn't made much headway trying to protect her son through appeals to school officials.

"Parents don't necessarily get a lot of support [in cases of bullying]," she said. "I understand why parents would think that way, because they often just don't want their children to be hurt anymore.

"[But] ... it's typically going to escalate the problem."