11 moves to be Miss Popular

Ever noticed how some people always manage to attract admirers like honey attracts bees? With our 11 foolproof, tried and tested, carefully dug out popularity techniques, you too can turn from please-notice-me to lovable-as-a-lolly!


1. FLIRT
Flirting comes naturally to people who are popular, and they don't just do it with the opposite sex! It's not an odd coincidence that this makes them all the more sought-after because by flirting, they're flattering the other person's ego, increasing familiarity through dialogue and touch, and exciting others with their playfulness. According to an article in Time magazine, “Flirting is also emotional capital to be expended in return for something else. It's a handy social lubricant, reducing the friction of everyday transactions, and closer to a strategically timed tip than a romantic overture.” Don't restrict your coquetry to your best friend's hot elder brother; make a habit of charming everyone with your sweet ways!

Put an effort into looking good, initiate conversation with those around you, smile and look people in the eye. Researchers have found that one of the most effective ways of heightening interest is holding the gaze for just a second longer. Make sure you're attentive to what the person is saying. If you can't bear to hear your companion's detailed account of how the engine of a 6 cylinder truck works, make sure you at least seem alert by nodding your head and throwing in a giggle here and there. The better you get at making others feel good about themselves, the more they'll want to spend time with you.

2. BE FUNNY
Popular people have high levels of energy and are always game to try out new things, which makes others want to hang out with them more often. Rather than being someone who'll weigh the pros and cons of an idea till nightfall, cultivate an attitude of fun and spontaneity. Enthusiasm also entails being confident enough to not be affected by setbacks.

Paris Hilton may have made enough blunders to go underground for life, but her care-two-hoots attitude has catapulted her onto a new level of fame! While we don't recommend following her word to word (mommy won't be too happy if you made a business out of, well, your home-made videos!) you sure can take a cue from her ability to deal with stressful situations. Always be pleasant and ready to try out new things. Keep a check on yourself if you think you're being a spoilt sport, especially if you don't have your way. The more confidence you display in taking charge, the more people will be attracted to you.

3. LISTEN
Never cut a sentence short even if you're dying to say something. Very often, people just want someone with a patient ear to listen to their own tales rather than hear advice.


4. DON'T BE A CRY BABY
In a recent study it was found that when stuck in a spot, kids who stood up for themselves or their pals gradually rose to being the most popular amongst the rest. This was because in taking responsibility rather than blaming others, they were considered them to be the most reliable. Stephen R. Covey, author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People calls such people ‘proactive'. He says, “Highly proactive people recognise responsibility. They do not blame circumstances, conditions or conditioning for their behaviour. Their behaviour is a product of their own conscious choice, based on values, rather than a product of their conditions, based on feelings.” While expressing your feelings is definitely a good habit, being a constant whining machine running on extra battery is an absolute no-no. The next time you find yourself cribbing, stop for 10 seconds and analyse whether you'll get anything from it. If you've done something, own up rather than blaming the weather.

5. TOUCH
While it's not a great idea to start stroking every stranger you meet, use the art of touch to make people more receptive to you. You can up your levels of intimacy with a friend by resting your hand on theirs or on their shoulder in the middle of your convo.


6. DON'T BE A BRAG QUEEN
Most of us like to display our feathers for the world to see. Especially when we meet new people, we try our level best to impress them by giving unnecessary details about our achievements, family tree, lovers, pets, favourite store, favourite colour, favourite uncle etc. You don't need to always speak about yourself to look like a rock star, sometimes its good to let others do the praising for you!

Speaking of those who boast, Robert Greene, author of 48 Laws of Power says, “They may not know it but they are secretly creating an enemy, as there isn't a more infuriating feeling than having your individuality ignored, your own psychology unacknowledged.” Of course, this does not mean you sit mum and silently merge with the wallpaper. The next time you meet someone, step back and ask them what they've been up to. By doing so, you'll make them feel special in your company and they'll want to come back to you to relive that feeling. Once the person has opened up to you, you can take your time to tell them your stories. The more others like you, the more they'll trust you and the more popular you will become.



HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS

1. Make the first move: Start a conversation by complimenting someone's dress or shoes to gel instantly.
2. Click away: Everyone wants memories of how much fun they've had and by the time you've given your number around for the snaps, you'll be quite a few names ahead on your friends list already!
3. Join a workshop: Theatre, music, voluntary work, anything that requires interacting with large groups is your destination for chilling with like-minded individuals.
4. Accept every invitation: Push yourself to go to social gatherings—anywhere you can interact with others. Chances are you might meet someone really interesting!

7. KEEP IT COOL
For people to hang out with you, you have to display qualities they admire. Be happy, positive and a chilled out person.

8. PARTY IT UP
Who doesn't like an evening of friends, good food, drinks and music? While guests may forget the honey-glazed ham you especially got for the do, they won't forget your hospitality. Throwing a party is a great way of making friends and increasing your popularity because it shows you're a fun loving and gregarious person, apart from being generous. Tycoon Vijay Mallaya may be the sharpest businessman around, but his popularity isn't as much because of his work as is it because of his extravagant bashes.

According to psychologists, inviting people indirectly puts them under obligation to be nice to you and further invite you to their social scenes. When having a bash, allow your guests to bring a friend with them. The more people you meet, the more you'll increase your social network. If you can't afford to throw a big get together, offer to have a small scene at your pad, even if with a few friends. If someone needs a space to hang out or do some work, let it be yours. If they need to a place to crash after a late night, offer your guestroom. The more generosity you show, the more people will try and curry you up to win favours from you. The nicer things people speak of you, the more popular you'll get even with those who don't know you that well.

9. SMELL SWEET
Scientists have proved that smell is an extremely important determinant for the human mind to discern what is good or bad for you. According to experts on www.psychologytoday.com, “Human emotions are strongly moved by smells. Mood is demonstrably affected by scent—a subtle ‘look this way' budge to the nose, inspiring a stranger's curiosity”. Lavender based perfumes contribute to making one feel pleasant, while when combined with eucalyptus, it increases the respiratory rate which makes others more alert to what you're saying. Once you've managed to put down their defenses, strangers will open up more easily.


10. BODY LANGUAGE
10In order to get people to like you, you need to come across as being an open and dependable person. According to Bruno Catellani of the Institute of Communication and Sales in Switzerland, the instinct part of the brain or the hypothalamus assesses people on the basis of non-verbal communication and accordingly categorises them as either friends or foes. Once the enemy or ‘Gatekeeper' mode gets triggered off, all message receptors in the brain shut down, dismissing the person as someone unreliable. It is therefore important to know how to work with words, tone of voice and eye movement to be readily accepted.

Remember not to use negative body language such as crossing your arms or frowning. Make it into a habit to smile at everyone, right from your maid to the gateman to your colleagues. A smile eases tension, indicates friendliness, a positive attitude and the impression that you're fun to be with. Positive body language and speaking in a calm and controlled manner show that you're a confident and trustworthy person, which is just what you need to draw people to you.

11. DEVOTE YOURSELF TO IT
Being admired is not a one-time jackpot that lasts forever. The real secret to achieving popularity is to work on it on a daily basis. Paul Graham, inventor of the first web-based application and Spam filter did an analysis of why so-called ‘nerds' weren't famous in High School. He concluded, “Popularity is not something you can do in your spare time, not in the fiercely competitive environment.”

In order not to be ‘out of sight, out of mind', take out time to stay connected with friends and people of importance. Just the way you would spare time to straighten your hair or hit the gym to chat up the cute instructor, make a conscious effort to building stronger relationships. Chart out 15-20 minutes a day to talk to your girlfriends. Not only will you be able to bitch your heart out about your uber-competitive colleague, you'll stay updated on what everyone's up to. Even if you'd rather hibernate in your room, push yourself to meet someone or the other over a cup of coffee or a few drinks, if only for an hour. Over time, you will be regarded as someone always there for people and soon they will want to reciprocate the feeling. By creating goodwill on an individual basis you can be sure to be surrounded by friends at any gathering.



LEARN TO BE MORE CONFIDENT

1. List out your talents: Focus on your positive qualities to take attention away from those aspects you don't like about yourself.
2. Remind yourself of your good qualities the next time you think you're not good enough.
3. Become a pro: Nothing gives more assurance than being an expert at an activity.
4. Shake your booty: Physical exercise releases feel-good hormones called endorphins that make one feel happier.